Too many thoughts... too few words

Wanted to write something for a very log time, its not that nothing has been happening, rather the reason that I have not been regular is that a lot was happening around me and I feel that I just don’t have the literary range to express so much. I don’t really know when I reached that point, but now I realize that the reason for all my mental unrest is the fact that I care a little too much of what the people think of me.

Few days back my fortune cookie read “Don’t worry over what others are thinking about you, they are too busy worrying what you think of them” which was very enlightening. After this I thought a lot and realized that I have to learn to love my self, and thus I should be careful that I don’t hurt myself by my own actions. For this I also need to realize that all actions do not have immediate consequences, so there might come times when I’ll be sorry for the things that I have done but I guess you can learn only by making mistakes and what the heck… every one is entitled to their set of mistakes in life. And to the people who are out there judging me, well in most cases you worse than me.

Both sides now..

I would like to share the very beautiful lyrics of a song by Joni Mitchell...


Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons evrywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on evryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As evry fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way

But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away

Ive looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall
I really dont know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
Ive looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living evry day

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all



Great words.. :)

To be or not to be ...

CAT result was out on 8th, and I avoided seeing my results till the 10th, as it happened many people were more interested in knowing my result than I myself was and for two days all kinds of acquaintances kept asking me what my result was, and finally I had to see my result just to satisfy their curiosity. Getting 98.42 %ile is strange. Though you don’t get any calls, still people feel that it is a very good score and that it is their moral responsibility to congratulate you and console you at the same time. I was a little surprised to see my own result, as far as I remember I had not done much in the paper, how I got even this much is a mystery I have yet to solve.

Why am I discussing all this when this years result has hardly affected me is because all this drama brought back the memories of last year when on the day of the result I had cried my eyes out when I had failed to get calls from any of the IIMs. I seriously thought that the sole aim of my life was to get admission in a good B-school, I did get admission in a few colleges but I myself don’t know why I did not join (though I don’t regret my decision as working with Adobe has been a great experience). But in the past six months I have changed a lot. I have asked my self again and again, do I really want to go for further studies? I am not sure. Do I have to be ambitious only because that is what is expected of me? I have started realizing the importance of such introspection, and so should thousands of others who are running in this rat race without thinking for even one second what their true calling is. Many of my friends joined different B-schools last year, when we meet now two common comments I hear from them are that “I don’t really know why I am doing an MBA” and “All they teach you in MBA is how to dish out a lot of crap and still sound important”. Which just goes to prove that not all people who do an MBA really enjoy the experience, so what is the guaranty that I will? Do I really want to waste two long years of my life just waiting for those two years to get over? But if not this – then what? Lots of times it is said that everyone has their own set of special talents and abilities, so to say everyone has a ‘calling’, well, even if that is true, I have yet to discover mine. So till the time I do, I will continue to celebrate CAT as an annual festival…

Six months ... Three trips...

I am back after a long break... We have a ten days shutdown at Adobe for Christmas and New Year. I had gone to Shimla, and near by places in this break- great experience. Saw snow for the first time in my life, and will have to admit that it was definitely one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.
It’s been six months since I have left college and started living in Noida and in these six months I have been to three different hill stations (Manali, Nainital, and Shimla). All three trips were very different from each other in many respects. If I had to rate these places in order of scenic beauty, Manali, Nainital, and Shimla would go first, second and third in that order, (Here I am talking of the main cities, and not the near by places). Though besides the scenic beauty there are a lot of other things which contribute to the experience of a holiday.

We had gone to Manali around September for company a team trip. Back then I was very new to the company and did not know many people. It was the most well planned of the above three trips with almost every minute detail taken care of well in advance. It was a good trip in the respect that I got a chance to interact with many of my colleagues and my comfort level with them increased manifold. Highlights of the trip- Rappelling, shopping, and evening drinks and dinner with colleagues. Missed paragliding at Rohtang due to bad weather.

The Nainital trip was the first of its kind. It was only seven people including me. Though it was a very short trip, starting on Friday night and ending on Monday morning, and November is not exactly the best time to go to Nainital still it was definitely the most enjoyable. During this trip we stayed at a place near Nainital called Kausali. It is a beautiful place, mostly devoid of tourists at that time and thus very peaceful. Most of the time there was spent dancing around the bonfire and gossiping with friends (Had some very interesting discussions with friends about Dil Dosti etc. ;)). Thank God for wonderful friends.

And now we come to the most recent i.e. the Shimla trip. The longest trip of the lot, took a total of five days including the traveling time. What makes this trip different is the fact that I gave up going home in order to be able to go on this trip, which is definitely a first. I had gone expecting to see a white Christmas at Shimla but was disappointed in that respect (thankfully our plans included going to Kufri and Narkanda where we got to see all the snow we were looking for J). Shimla is full of tourists at Christmas; it really surprises me that so many people can actually fit in one city at once. It is a completely commercialized tourist destination where the mall road resembles any large shopping mall with the showrooms of most big brands present. For people who do not have shopping on their minds there is nothing much to do. We did eventually get a chance to do ice skating and skiing, had great fun (though I will have to admit that I am not cut out for winter sports L). Overall a good trip.

I do hope that this trend continues and I get to see more places…

Had to start sometime...

So here comes the first post of my blog
I’ve been planning to do this for a very long time now, don’t really know what was stopping me, I guess it was just laziness.

So now that I am finally here I would dedicate this post to what to expect from this blog in future. Basically I have started blogging because recently I have started feeling that there are a lot of things that I would like to tell people but something or the other prevents me from doing it. Sometimes the right person is not around, at other times I am too busy. Even when both these factors are not the reason there are times when I am just unable to express myself, let’s just say I am not articulate enough even to express my own feelings. So in short this is going to be my own private cribbing place.
Another thing which u can expect to find here is a lot of quotes and lyrics of many songs. Up till now when I came across nice words while surfing the net, I would show them to friends and once in a while put them on my gtalk status bar. But recently I have felt that the status messages are becoming just a little too long, and that my friends getting more and more weary of reading all the crap I keep sending out to them, and hence I would put an end to this sadism.

Disclaimer: I will be copying a lot of things from here and there and pasting it here so, I just hope I would not be accused of plagiarism…..

How useful this will be, I have yet to discover, but at least I should give it a fair trial…